By now everyone on the planet has officially shared their opinion about the issue of work-life balance. It is almost the only thing it has been possible to read about in the last month – thanks, Marissa Mayer! – especially if the article in any way mentions women.
Everybody seems to be trying to find a work-life solution that will afford them happiness.
But happiness is hard, and how exactly would you define ‘happiness’?
Aristotle wrote a whole book on the subject, and I barely understand a word of it. But I’ve also heard that misery loves company, and I definitely understand that.
So allow me to share with you a few thoughts on work-life balance that should help you become the bitter, inconsolable shell of a person I really want you to be:
1. Never turn off your electronics!
The entire reason you have a portable computer and a portable cell phone is to remind you that you have no excuse for not working all the time.
It might take a little work, but you can learn to type an email while running on a treadmill. Personally, I can’t wait until they allow phone calls on airplanes so that tiny little cabin is filled with the cacophonous rattle of dozens of conversations all conducted at a volume loud enough to be heard over the jet engines.
In fact, I see no reason for anyplace to be a sacred. So send emails in church, scan reports while you tuck your kids into bed, and definitely have a news feed scrolling on your iPad while you’re in bed with your loved ones trying to make new kids that you can also ignore when you eventually tuck them in for the night.
You can sleep when you’re dead – which, if you follow this piece of advice, should happen sooner than you think!
2. Convince yourself that you are too important to take a vacation!
William H. Macy, who has acted in approximately 12 billion movies, once said that “Everyone in Hollywood is replaceable.” And he’s right – after all, when was the last time you saw a movie with William H. Macy?
There are actually instances of CEOs dying in plane crashes, which can be interpreted as equivalent to an extremely long vacation. Do you know what usually happens to those companies? They keep operating.
Perhaps they suffer for a short time, but they eventually find a way to move forward. Which means it might – just might – be possible for you to take a long weekend here and there without destroying everything you’ve worked so hard to build.
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