Have you ever thought to yourself: “I feel guilty when I’m working on my business because I’m not spending time with my kids?” Or perhaps you’ve said, “When I’m spending time with my kid I feel guilty because I’m neglecting my business.”
Meanwhile, on top of these feelings of guilt you have a million things that need to get done.
I hear this all of the time from fellow mompreneurs. Mom guilt is real.
But being stuck in feelings of guilt will deplete us of vital energy. It will make us feel tired, frustrated, and unproductive.
As a new mom, I’ve caught myself operating out of this guilty mental space. I doesn’t feel good. I vowed to find solutions that would help me to: a) be a present mom when I was on mommy duty and b) an empowered entrepreneur when I was in business mode. My goal was to be totally present in each role.
So here they are my top 5 tips for you to feel good as a mom, entrepreneur and the super hero that you are, while you get things done.
1. Make yourself a core priority
You can’t show up as the best version of yourself for your family and your business if you don’t fuel yourself first. It’s absolutely necessary to make this a core priority and a daily practice. You are worth it gorgeous!
If you’re like most moms, you have an agenda or a daily task list. Overhaul your agenda and start with scheduled “me time” until it becomes a habit. Before tackling the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, grocery shopping, driving your kids to practice, cooking dinner (i.e., whatever you have to do) start with a block of time just for you.
Start with 10-15 minutes and increase the time by a few minutes each week. The goal is to schedule 30-60 minutes of “me time” as a daily practice. Start this practice by doing things that fuel your soul. For example, 10 deep breaths, a yoga sequence in your living room (P.S. YouTube has great flows), take a bath with candles, put on some loud music and dance, go sit outside, etc.
Change it up daily. When you feel good, everyone around you will feel your energy — you’re contagious mama!
2. Say no with confidence
Define your core values and your core priorities. Say “No!” to anything and everything that is not in alignment with them. As women we naturally want to please others, especially our loved ones. The more you stand up for what’s most important to you, the more natural it’ll feel to say no.
I recently asked one of my business partners if she was available to host a webinar with me at 9pm EST. She responded that she’s made a commitment not to schedule anything in the evenings because she’s just not at her best during that time. I deeply admire her response and her commitment to doing what feels best. Most importantly, she made it non-negotiable.
3. Delegate, outsource and ask for help
One evening as I was cleaning the kitchen (it’s one of my pet peeves to wake up to a messy kitchen). My daughter was in bed. I felt this deep rush of energy come over me as I realized my husband was at hockey (doing what he loves) and I was sanitizing toys, filling the dishwasher and I still had to fold Maya’s laundry downstairs.
I thought to myself, “I would much rather be in a yoga class right now.” Instead of getting angry I made a list of what I needed help with and showed it to my husband the next morning. He was very open to taking a few things off my plate. He even asked why I hadn’t asked him earlier.
As a result we budgeted to hire a part-time nanny who could come in twice a week to help with Maya and meal prep. What responsibilities can you delegate to someone else? Who can you hire to free up some of your precious time? Can you do an exchange with another mom; she can run some errands for you one day and you can watch her child for a couple hours another day?
4. Define core priories each week
I love to sit down before bed on Sundays with a cup of tea and write out my top priorities for that week. My priorities range from working on my business, taking Maya to gymnastics, going to my favorite yoga class, having a date night with my husband, taking the dogs to the groomer, coaching clients or scheduled meetings, doing the housework, preparing baby food, and so on and so on.
I divide my priorities list into three sections: things that need to be done on a specific day, things that can get done anytime during the week, and things that are long-term or ongoing projects. Anything that’s not on the list is not a priority and subsequently I say “no.”
5. Be flexible
I’ve learned to practice unattachment. I used to get frustrated when my schedule didn’t go as planned. I’ve now fully surrendered to the idea that when I wake up, my plan might go out the window, especially if the baby is not feeling well or something unexpected happens.
When my husband and I sat down to set some intentions for the new year a few key words we agreed on were trust, alignment and surrender. On new years eve we had plans to spend the entire day with some of our dearest friends and their children.
That morning when we woke up Maya had a high fever. I had to cancel our plans and just trust that — for whatever reason — this is the way we were meant to spend new years eve, as a family, in bed by 10:30pm.
It was the first test to ring in the new year, to see if we were truly committed to our intentions.
Be kind to yourself mama. You are amazing. When you are living in alignment, and trust that everything will work out for your highest good, you feel good and everything flows. You’re happier, your husband is happier and your children will feed off your beautiful energy.
This article has been edited.
Anna Lozano is a mom and an entrepreneur. She is the co-founder of Holistic Freedom Academy and #TheFreedomProject. Her mission is to inspire and teach moms how to step into leadership, raise their level of emotional intelligence and lead with heart. In her past Anna received an HBA from The Richard Ivey School of Business and worked as a Marketing Professional in Mexico City, Toronto, Singapore and through entrepreneurship retired from Corporate at the age of 27 to pursue her passion and purpose. Connect with @yourfreedomlife on Twitter.