Most nights I sneak into the bedroom and peer in through a dimly lit room and notice (as usual) my husband is already fast asleep. (Thank God!)
Now I don’t have to feel guilty about what I’ve been thinking about all day.
Fast forward to a couple of hours later … The routine has become second nature to me. I quietly change out of my clothes and slip into my pajamas. As I walk past our bathroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror; my hair is tangled, my lip gloss is gone, mascara is streaked, and only one earring remains.
I barely recognize myself
I barely recognize myself (I am a hot mess!).
I hit the hallway lights before quietly opening the door to creep into bed … slowly pulling the covers up around me. I know he knows what I have been doing all night, but I still don’t want to wake him. So, I slowly make myself comfortable in our bed hoping he doesn’t wake up and look at the clock.
It’s 1:03 am. I am exhausted.
I cautiously roll over and gaze at my cellphone on the nightstand. It’s hanging on at 3% battery life and, like most nights, a notification light with a message appears. Do I dare read it? Will the display light from my phone wake my loving husband?
Maybe he won’t notice. After all, he’s sound asleep.
So, I grab the phone and as I suspected there is a new email in my inbox. And my affair starts again — with my business.
You see, I’ve fallen into a great love affair; the beautiful chaos of entrepreneurship.
“And loving you was a pattern of self-discovery because some way, somehow I always ended up learning something new about myself.” ― Robert M. Drake, Beautiful Chaos
Rekindled passion and purpose
My entrepreneurship love affair rekindled my passion, purpose, and possibilities. I’m madly in love with being an entrepreneur. I have never felt more engaged and alive.
So much so that it’s not unusual for me to spend 12-16 hours a day living in my new reality, where it’s just me, my clients, and my MacBook. In a way, my affair has opened the way to healthier personal development and a healthier relationship with my husband.
He doesn’t mind stealing me away to remind me to eat, forcing me to put down my phone … And when he reaches his breaking point, I finally shut down my laptop and look up from the screen.
Many entrepreneurs say, “I never meant for this to happen.” They’re being honest when they say that.
Typically, they’re living a seemingly fulfilled life, but they aren’t “perfectly” happy (in a way they know they could be). No one who was perfectly happy with their life and career starts a business. Like them, I knew I wanted something more.
As a result, I am always “open” for business. My life has become my business. And yet, (most of the time) my husband is perfectly okay with my entrepreneurship love affair.
Why? Because he knows how insanely happy I am.
A business love affair: addicted to purpose
My husband remembers the days when I worked at a thankless job that I hated, working for bosses that were jerks, and had to miss family outings because of my crazy hours.
We agreed I would do this entrepreneurship thing.
All purpose-driven entrepreneurs know my story all too well.
You’re sitting at a desk, or in a cubical, and all you can do is visualize a) banging your head against the wall or b) counting down the clock until 5pm rolls around. It’s a life that is lived for the weekend; TGIF is the adage that many people live and breathe as they work thankless jobs, burying their passions and true callings daily. They dread Monday and can’t wait for Friday.
You see, everyone has a calling; a voice within that calls out for purpose. It’s this passion that will drive you to want to share your purpose with others.
Your purpose will soon become an addiction … a craving far beyond a one-night stand with hobbies or “shiny new objects”. And the only way to feed your addiction, will be to follow your heart and start a business.
The expectation that money will flow and clients will come is there, but it’s more than that! You have to hustle, love your calling, stay hungry for what lies ahead, and never forget what you left behind!
Dirty little secrets
I’d be remiss to not share that at times your mind gets dirty in self doubt. You may even roll around in self-sabotage and feel helplessly vulnerable outside of your comfort zone. You will start relentlessly chasing an elusive zone of genius.
My biggest fear is that someday I might regret this business love affair. I may realize it was all just a dream and give into the naysayers who say it is not be sustainable. But for now, I am going to embrace this union. Yes! I might be working harder and longer than ever before, but it’s for me and my future.
Yes, I might stay awake late, wake up early, and constantly think about my business affair, but it’s mine. I would much rather put in 80 hours a week into my own dreams than 40 passionless hours with no reward.
If your career leaves you feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, lonely, empty, or anything similar, take it seriously. Ditch the midlife crisis and create a mid-life legacy.
This is my true story. This is our story. It’s what following dreams looks like. Someday you’ll find your entrepreneurial calling and it will be everything you’ve been looking for your entire life. Wait for it.
This article has been edited and condensed.
Amber Annette is an Intuitive Business Success Coach for entrepreneurs who are ready to transform their service based business into a profitable and purposeful brand. She is best known for blending her gifts of psychic mediumship with her business acumen to help purpose driven entrepreneurs who desire mind, business, spirit alignment. With a strong background in leadership, sales, marketing, coaching, and training, Amber Annette weaves her passion into success strategies that are divinely designed and custom to the not only the business, but the individual. When she’s not building her business, or working with a client, you will find her at one of her children’s baseball games, or enjoying the lake with her family and friends in Minnesota. Connect with @AskAmberAnnette on Twitter.
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