Confidence is often misunderstood as a way of being to get other people to respect you (or even get you to respect yourself). However, a reframing is in order. Many business owners, entrepreneurs, and leaders have been taught certain ways to stand, dress, and speak in order to convey confidence. Yet that’s not the root of what confidence is about (what you sound or look like). Confidence is the ability to unapologetically express yourself.
The adage “fake it until you make it” is problematic. It can be hit or miss in the long-term because confidence is cultivated from your sense of self.
If you reflect an emotion or personality that isn’t in alignment with who you are, or keeps you from understanding yourself on deeper levels, it’s likened to using a band-aid to patch a gaping wound that needs stitches.
Thankfully there is a better way.
True confidence is about trusting yourself to make decisions that are in alignment with your values and well-being. This superpower comes from understanding who you are fully, even when you’re nervous, unsure, and uncomfortable.
You can cultivate confidence by:
- showing up as you are and being okay with yourself regardless of what others think of you and;
- developing a deeper level of self-trust and authenticity from the inside out by trusting yourself to take the next right action, even if it doesn’t make sense to others
The more you see your decisions, choices, and actions play out well for you, the more core confidence you’ll develop as a result. This process also gives you the power to explore parts of yourself that you wouldn’t otherwise have access to.
As you develop real confidence, you drop the ideas you’ve been sold about what leadership needs to look like. Instead, you show up as you are ready to lead with a renewed commitment to your mission, values, and purpose.
Identify your mission, values and purpose
Now here’s the trick—you have to know what your mission, values, and purpose are in order to do this effectively. If you don’t know what they are as of now, don’t sweat it. There’s a process for that.
Map out your top three values and ask yourself:
- Where am I potentially compromising your values or making exceptions?
- If I were to be known for one thing in life, what would it be and why is that important to me?
When you know what your top values are and allow them to inform how you show up in your life – confidence is cultivated.
Expressing confidence is how you allow your self-trust to impact your interactions with the world around you. This means show up, even when you don’t want to and commit to doing your best. This looks like standing your ground even when fear and doubt creep in.
True leadership is to know your values and not waver; show up and communicate authentically stead of copying someone else; and trust yourself to handle whatever comes your way.
Stepping into your true power and confidence as a leader won’t necessarily make you the most popular person, but leadership isn’t about being liked. Leaders who earn the respect of their teams and audience do so by operating with integrity, making decisions that benefit the group at large, and being the most authentic version of themselves while helping others do the same.
You build confidence when you know no matter what –– you have your own back, even when you aren’t perfect.
Strengthen your daily confidence
Strengthen your confidence by doing one thing a day that you would normally shy away from doing.
When your nerves get the best of you, practice the 3-2-1 countdown and then take action on the thing you were hesitant to do. This will teach you how to calm your body while giving you the opportunity to consistently stretch to new levels.
The more you dedicate yourself to building your confidence, the more innately confident you will become and you’ll go from practicing to being.
Deidre Sirianni is a TEDx Speaker, leadership coach, and spiritual guide, serving a community of impact-driven entrepreneurs, coaches, leaders, and visionaries on their journey of healing, integrating change, and making a significant impact through their work. Deidre uses her over 10 years of experience in leadership development, holistic wellness, and human behavior to help clients overcome self-sabotaging behaviors that hold them back from being fulfilled and reaching their goals. She’s spoken on global stages such as Envision Festival, Impact Festival, Consciousness Hacking, Influence, and her genius has been featured in Lululemon, Novus TV, and Alive Magazine.
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