Rejection is one of the most powerful and damaging forces in our lives. We will do almost anything to avoid it.
People often say to me, “Jason, I can’t go up and speak to a stranger. What do I have offer someone? It just won’t work out.” Or “I’ve put myself out there in the past, and I’ve been hurt. Why will this time be any different?”
This is exactly the negative mindset so many people have their entire lives. They miss out on so many relationships and opportunities because they sabotage themselves by creating fear and pain in their mind that isn’t based on facts or reality.
The Truth About Rejection
The pain of rejection is undeniable. “Studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking),” according to Psychology Today.
However, rejection happens far less than we think it does!
Let’s go through a “three question exercise” together to illustrate this. Take out a pen and paper, answer each question, and make sure you write or type out your answers.
Have you ever have been rejected by a person in a way that truly hurt you?
How many people can you name that have done this to you? You must identify specific people and what they did.
How many people have you encountered in your life so far who have been patient and positive, or at least neutral in how they interacted with you? Count every single person you’ve run into during your life. Would you say at least several hundred? What about a thousand? What about several thousand?
What did you come up with?
For question one, generally everyone says “yes.”
When people consider question number two, they typically identify between three to seven people who have truly rejected them. Sometimes this number can be as high as 10, but it rarely ever goes higher than that.
When asked the last question, most people say at least a thousand people.